You don’t know! Have you ever wished you were better informed? It’s the OPEN MIC BIG BIG BIG CHRISTMAS PARTY, stupid.

What’s that?

Give me strength. Listen. Watch my lips. EARLY START 8.30. LATE FINISH (never mind when – late). LOADS OF FREE FOOD. FREE DRINKS FOR ALL PERFORMERS. A BIG RAFFLE WITH MANY PRIZES.

Could it be that this gallery contains a clue to some of the prizes?